9.5

So, today I did the Biggest Loser Boot Camp dvd with my husband. Then I walked 2.5 miles and ran 4 miles on the treadmill. I ate really well again today. Hooray for me. I wish I could figure out why sometimes I do amazingly well and other times I just blow it? I wish I had never let myself get so overweight in the first place. I guess I can focus on the positive and be proud that I am losing weight and getting healthier now. I am pushing myself to do hard races and exercising as often as I can. That is good. I didn't wait until I was 40 (or older) to start. I notice myself tending to focus on the negative aspects instead of looking at what I have done. I am going to make an effort to be more optimistic and positive.

Anyway, so I am at a new low. By 1/2 a pound, as I mentioned earlier. This is exciting to me. I have a weight that sticks in my mind from 13 years ago when I lost a huge amount of weight. I really want to get to this weight again. I only have 9.5 pounds to get there! Before that I can barely remember what my weights were. I have a vague idea of what I weighed when I got married and I know what size I was when I was 18 and lost some weight. That's about it. I avoided the scale for a big portion of my life. I hope I never do that again. It's part of being in denial.

So I want to lose those 9.5 pounds and when I do, I have decided that I will try on my wedding dress. I just want to see how it fits. I wasn't a thin bride, so I do not think I am that far away from it actually fitting. Especially since I am a whole lot toner now than I was when I got married (I rarely exercised back then).

I hope I can get outside to run tomorrow.